Posts filed under 'Word of the day'
Word: “Turkey Day”
Usage: Used in place of “Thanksgiving”.
Example: Conversation with a co-worker:
Him: “Hey, Bill, what are you guys doing for Turkey Day?”
Me: “Nothing, since there’s no such holiday. For Thanksgiving, however, we’re having dinner with my brother and his family.”
Please, everyone, don’t call it “Turkey Day”, “Spanksgiving”, or anything else cute or funny. It is supposed to be a day to gather with friends and family, to share wonderful meals, make memories that will last forever, and to think about and appreciate everything that you have. It is supposed to be both solemn and joyous at the same time.
It is NOT supposed to be diminished to a stupid, not-so-clever, unfunny phrase. It’s “Thanksgiving”, OK?
November 21st, 2006
Word: “Sexy”
Usage: Spoken by our friend’s two-year-old grand-daughter, who was trying to say “Lexi”.
Example: “Hey, Sexy, let’s go play with all the fun toys in your bedroom.”
Note: I realize it is pretty creepy to hear someone call my (at the time 5-year-old) daughter “Sexy”. It’s still pretty hilarious, though.
December 12th, 2005
Word: “U.P.S.” (As in United Parcel Service)
Usage: Spoken as a word (like the plural of “the opposite of down”) instead of just initials.
Example: (A conversation with my mother-in-law many years ago):
Her: “I read that deliveries have been delayed quite a bit since the ups drivers have been on strike.”
Me: “Umm, since the what drivers?”
Her: “You know, the ups drivers. The ups drivers are all on strike, so the ups managers and ups secretaries are all trying to make the ups deliveries.”
Me: “Huh?”
November 17th, 2005
Word: “John Henry”
Usage: Slang for “signature”, used instead of “John Hancock”
Example: “Hey Bill, I need your John Henry here on the dotted line for this delivery of new computers.”
Understand this please, folks: “John Hancock” is the accepted slang term for one’s signature, because John Hancock is famous for his large, flamboyant signature on the Declaration of Independence.
John Henry was a steel driving man, Lord Lord.
October 28th, 2005
Word: Subtenance
Usage: Can be used as a substitute for “substance”
Example: “The statistics you are compiling and measuring are good, but I want you to also get some more relevant measurements, ones that have subtenance.”
I think Ted got substance and sustenance confused, but I’m still not sure why he was thinking about food and nourishment when we were discussing statistics.
April 6th, 2005
More twisted usage of the English language:
Word: Exordinant
Usage: Can be used as a substitute for “exorbitant”
Example: “The electronics store is charging an exordinant amount for this high-end digital camera that I know will be 25% cheaper in three months, but I bought it anyway.”
March 8th, 2005
This is one of my personal favorite Words of the Day:
Word: Apparition
Usage: Used in place of “aberration”
Example: “The huge number of Help Desk calls we took yesterday was an apparition, due to the print server unexpectedly crashing.”
March 1st, 2005
More liberties taken with the English language:
Word: Whosever, pronounced with a “z” sound
Usage: Used in place of “who ever is”
Example: “Assign this work request to whosever going out in the field today.”
February 23rd, 2005
Another common English language word senselessly murdered:
Word: Council
Usage: Used in place of “console”
Example: “This is a pretty good price in the Fry’s ad for this roof-mounted DVD player and LCD monitor, but I would prefer to get one that is mounted in the center council.”
February 8th, 2005
My old boss Ted* is a master of the English language, in the same way that a hungry gorilla is a master of a bunch of bananas. During the several years I worked for him, I collected many funny examples of interesting word abuse. Here is the first of many:
Word: Pitcher
Usage: Used in place of “picture”
Example: “I took some pitchers of my house’s expensive new front door so everyone can admire it.”
* Not his real name of course.
January 27th, 2005