Posts filed under 'TV'
So something happened the other day that, for the first time that I can remember, actaully made me feel old. Having two teen-age sons? Nah. One of them a sophomore in high school? Nope. Getting his driver’s license in 3 months? Still doesn’t make me feel old.
Kathy and I were watching American Idol the other day (Breanna got it right, by the way, Paris and Taylor are the two best performers by far), and something one of the gals said made me frown. She was singing “Never” by Heart (which of course is led by my all-time favorite female vocalist, Nancy Wilson), from their self-titled album (which I bought on vinyl when it was first released back in 1985, by the way).
So why did this make me feel old? It was referred to as a classic rock song. Classic rock! Whenever I hear the phrase “classic rock”, I think of Woodstock and free love, and singers and performers who’ve died choking on their own vomit, or at least a ham sandwich. (And, yes, I know the “ham sandwich” thing is a myth. It still makes for a better end to the previous sentence.)
But a song that I dug when it was brand new is considered classic rock?
Now I feel old.
February 24th, 2006
My non-blogging brother Josh shared this one with me. Apparently, there was a news story about a fire that was spreading and threatening some homes. The road leading to these houses was jammed with traffic, and the TV news reporter said something like “These residents are obviously leaving work early, rushing, fighting traffic, knowing that if they don’t get home soon, it’ll be too late for them to evacuate.”
August 10th, 2005
I was watching a news report recently about the tragic death of a 17-year old girl from Salem. Apparently, her boyfriend lost control of his car while they were on the way to the prom, and the crash injured him and killed her.
A reporter was “on the scene” at the high school Monday talking to kids as they left school, to get their reactions. One of the students said something like “Yeah, it’s tragic that she died so young. Everyone here is really sad today, and we’re all going to miss her. I didn’t know her personally. I don’t think I ever even talked to her or anything.”
They couldn’t actually talk to someone who actually knew her? Instead, just throw the first person you see who looks kinda sad in front of the camera? Better yet, why not report the death, then just leave all the friends and relatives alone and let them grieve?
‘Cause that doesn’t bring in the ratings, that’s why.
May 4th, 2005
After some pretty serious posts recently, I decided to lighten it up quite a bit. Here are some of my favorite quotes from The Simpsons:
——————–
Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.
——————–
Professor Frink: Let the commencing beginulate!
——————–
Marge: You awful man! Stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob: [menacing] Oh, I’ll stay away from your son, all right! Stay away… FOREVER!
Homer: Oh, no!
Sideshow Bob: Wait a minute. That’s no good.
[walks away, then runs back]
Sideshow Bob: Wait, I’ve got a good one now! Marge, say “stay away from my son” again.
Marge: No!
——————–
Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we’re at the parent-teacher meeting. We’ll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you’ve been good, pizza. If you’ve been bad… uh… let’s see… poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no. I’m not making two stops.
——————–
Lionel Hutz: Now don’t you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I… uh-oh. We’ve drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.”
——————–
Homer: How could you? Haven’t you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What’s-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn’t hear anybody laughing. Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom. Beep. Honk. Honk. Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze.
——————–
Homer: You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher’s mitt, but my dad wouldn’t get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what’s the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.
——————–
And my all time favorite:
Homer: Two hours? Why’d they build this ghost town so far away?
Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there.
Homer: It’s because they’re stupid, that’s why. That’s why everybody does everything.
April 18th, 2005
While watching the news this morning, there was a story about a murder in Hillsboro, which was actually Hillsboro’s first murder of the year. Just reporting the story would not have been nearly sensationalistic enough, so the reporter opened the story by saying “There is a killer on the loose in Hillsboro!” He then went on to explain that the victim had been killed sometime between Tuesday and Thursday evening. Keep in mind that Hillsboro is a small bedroom community west of Beaverton, which is a largish suburb west of Portland.
So, a person was killed, possibly as far back as three days ago, in a metropolitan area with 2+ million people in it, and the reporter confidently (and ignorantly) asserts that the murderer is still wandering around the scene of the crime.
March 18th, 2005
While watching local news a few nights ago, a story about a prostitution ring came on, and at some point the reporter made some comment about the fact that it is unlawful to “visit a prostitute.” Matt wondered about this for a few minutes, then asked, “But what if she’s your friend? You’re still not allowed to visit her?”
We had to explain what the reporter was implying when he said “visit”, and that it had nothing to do with dropping by to say hello, chatting about the latest sale at Nordstrom, discussing poetry over a spot of tea and a scone, etc.
January 25th, 2005
Here is the latest flash of brilliance from a local news anchor:
“The victim in a fatal stabbing has died.”
Of course, it would be a much more amazing story if the victim of a fatal stabbing had survived.
January 24th, 2005
I can’t stand local TV news. There are so many reason why I hate it, but it generally boils down to this: I could crap a better news story than most local TV news “journalists.”
How much smarts does it take to form a question in such a manner that the interviewee’s answer can only be a pathetic soundbite? Example:
Q: “What are your thoughts on the flasher that has been spotted exposing himself in front of your daughter’s elementary school?
A: “Well, I think he is sick, and he must be caught.”
I heard this one on the day President Reagan died. The reporter was talking with a spokesman for the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library:
Q: “What is the mood here today?”
A: “Well, we are all very sad.”
What amazing insight!
Do they think we’re idiots?
January 20th, 2005