Here are some more details:
Saturday, June 18th
Noon - 5:00 PM or so
Raleigh Park, SW 78th St, Beaverton
I just received notice today that the park reservation is confirmed. I will have more specifics soon, including directions to the park.
Mark your calendars!
3 comments May 31st, 2005
Two of my company’s laptops were recently stolen. After a brief investigation, it was determined who stole them (an employee and two accomplices), they were arrested, and the laptops were recovered.
You all know that I revel in making fun of the stupid. So it is with immense pleasure that I point out how dumb it is to think that you can bypass a computer’s logon screen by disassembling the computer.
I am not making this up. Here is proof:
My group was then responsible for putting the laptop back together and making it work again. With a few parts purchased to replace those damaged during disassembly, it was a success.
P.S. - Big announcement about the blogger picnic soon, either later today or first thing tomorrow. Be sure to check back!
5 comments May 31st, 2005
I saw the cleanup of a pretty bad wreck a week ago or so. I flipped open the handy cell phone camera and snapped a picture as I drove by:
It wasn’t until I emailed the picture to my computer and saw the picture full-size that I realized that the totalled car was a Farmers insurance company car:
Irony at its finest!
Add comment May 27th, 2005
Want a sneak peak at your American Idol for the year 2015? Check out Lexi singing solo in front of her entire school, including students, teachers, faculty, and even parents! She played the part of the straw peddler, selling a bundle of straw to the first little piggy. She was amazing! Pictures are in the Photo Gallery.
1 comment May 26th, 2005
OK, my next several posts are going to be about photos I’ve recently taken. Pictures are worth 1000 words, right? And I’m a very busy and important person; I don’t have nearly enough time to write 1000 actual words, so there you go. Here is the first:
Several strange things to note:
1. My cell phone camera sure does distort the picture when it is up close like this. I mean, that is a 44 ounce cup being filled, but compared to my finger, it looks barely larger than a thimble.
2. The real reason I took this picture is the note on the Mountain Dew dispenser. Since when is “Thankyou” one word? Also, are they really remorseful or not? The question mark makes one wonder…
4 comments May 26th, 2005
So things are starting to get back to normal. Kathy’s been in Alabama attending a huge reunion, meeting a bunch of her biological family that she didn’t even know existed until a few years ago when she and I worked some Internet magic and found them.
I took vacation days away from work so I could perform her regular duties while she was away. Even without going to the classes she normally attends full-time, I was exhausted just doing the other things: Taxiing kids to and from three different schools at three different times of the day, plus taking them to guitar lessons and gymnastics class, attending parent/teacher conferences, fixing meals for home and school, chaperoning Billy’s birthday dinner with friends at a sushi place (my fist time trying sushi, btw, and I kinda liked it), and many, many other things that I was too exhausted to make note of.
I’ll have more to post, and I hope to be back on some sort of regular schedule, very soon.
3 comments May 25th, 2005
My son Billy turns 15 today. Should we start calling him Bill now? He’ll have to be the one to decide when we drop the “y” from his name; not that his choice will matter much, some of my family still call me Billy, and I’m well past 36!
3 comments May 25th, 2005
I worked with a guy a few years ago who was quite a joker. He was a real riot. I thought it was all fun and games until he crossed the line: He kidnapped my favorite piece of desktop office equipment, my Swingline stapler, and held him for ransom. Here’s the story:
My office is near a small conference room that’s often used by others in the building. For some reason, this conference room’s stapler was always disappearing. When people in a meeting needed something stapled, they would invariably come to my desk and ask to borrow my stapler. I would let them take it back to the conference room with them, but would always make them promise to bring it back at the end of their meeting. If I was away from my office, people would sometimes just take it off my desk and then leave it in the conference room after their meeting was over.
Each morning when I would reach for my stapler to attach the new cover sheet to my TPS reports, it would be missing. I would have to wait until the current meeting was over and then scour the conferece room for my beloved Swingline. The whole time, I put up a pretty vocal fuss about all this (I never threatened to set the building on fire, however.)
So, as I’m going through my normal routine one morning, I discover that my stapler is not on my desk. I trudge over to the conference room to retrieve it, but it’s nowhere to be found there. When I get back to my desk, I find a ransom note sitting on my keyboard. It has also been delivered to my inbox as a Microsoft Word document attachment, sent from one of our anonymous mailboxes we use for testing. Here is a PDF file I created of the ransom note.
With the help of a trusted neutral co-worker, I dissected the Word document and discovered who had actually created it. As soon as he left his desk, I swooped in and took his Intel bunnysuit figure, and created my own ransom note, being careful to create it while logged in with a completely anonymous user name, so it couldn’t be traced back to me. Here is a copy of that ransom note in PDF format.
A trade was arranged, and he got his Intel bunnysuit figure back unharmed, and I got my Swingline stapler back, but he had been roughed up by his captors, and his injuries are evident. Oh the humanity!
He still works flawlessly, and I haven’t missed a TPS report deadline since then.
4 comments May 17th, 2005
So are you kinda nervous ’cause today is Friday the 13th? Then you’re kinda dumb.
It’s just another day of the week, like all the others that came before it. I happen to have absolute proof that not only is Friday the 13th not unlucky, it is actually (for me at least) very lucky indeed.
Back when I was a teen-ager (decades ago, back when cars could still run on leaded gasoline), my uncle had a construction business. He bid on a construction clean-up job on a Nordstroms being built in Glendale, California. He loaded a bunch of us nephews in his van, loaded the trailer with equipment, and we drove the 1000 or so miles for the job. We were there for a couple months, and it was a pretty incredible summer.
One Friday at the job site, Friday the 13th to be exact, I was walking along from somewhere to someplace else, and came upon a huge ladder setup in the middle of the floor. I was about to walk around it, when I thought “what the heck * “, and started to walk under it. I figured that since I was walking under a ladder on Friday the 13th, I’d better think good thoughts to counteract the bad luck. So, I thought “good thoughts”. Literally. I was saying the words “good” and “thoughts” over and over in my head as I walked under the ladder. I didn’t really know any other way to think good thoughts.
And what did I find on the ground on the other side of the ladder? A crumpled $5 bill. Which, to a teen-ager in the early ’80s, was like finding a chest o’ gold. I pocketed it and spent it all on slurpees over the coming week or so.
I swear this is a completely true story.
* “Heck” wasn’t the actual word I thought. I was a teen-ager. You figure it out.
3 comments May 13th, 2005
OK, no offense to any of my Japanese readers, alright? I personally don’t know anyone from Japan, and the Americans of Japanese descent that I know are true Red White and Blue Americans. And by that, I mean they like their beer cold, their TV loud, and you know the rest.
But I just don’t understand the taste of the young people in Japan. And by taste, I mean bad taste. A case in point is soon approaching. But first, allow me to set it up for you.
I was surfing recently, and I don’t remember anymore where I was when I clicked on a link that took me to the following page. I just remember that it said something about “cool Japanese sporty cars” or something. This wasn’t a page badly translated from the Japanese language, where all intended sarcasm is lost. This link was actually promising cool Japanese sporty cars. So I clicked to have a look. The first few cars near the top of the page looked decent enough. Nothing really special one way or the other. The farther down I got, however, the more I thought this was a joke. But NO! It is real! People in Japan actually think this looks cool! Have a look here.
When you’re done laughing and shaking your head, check out what are apparently called “art trucks“.
6 comments May 11th, 2005
Last December, we donated one of our cars to charity. My ‘92 Chevy Cavalier (you can see a few photos of it in the snow and ice here) had more than 190,000 miles on it, and the engine was finally starting to go. On the highway, it still ran OK and had plenty of power, but it was really hard to start (I had to crank it for more than 30 seconds before it would finally fire). Also, it idled really rough (though it never did stall at any stoplights or anything), and it was starting to spew steam out of the exhaust pipe.
I’ve been told I’m pretty good with computers and electronics (no comments from you, Gabe), but I’ve never been known for my mechanical ability. Still, I’ve read enough to know that steam coming from the exhaust pipe is bad. Like, you might as well start shopping for a new engine kind of bad. With a car this old and used, we didn’t want to go through the trouble. For the tiny amount we might get for selling the car (it had a reconstructed title, and I was going to remove the stereo before we did anything else), we didn’t want the hassle. So, we donated it to Goodwill.
We did a bit of research to see which would be the most deserving recipient, but no one seemed to want it. Even when we explained that the car still ran under its own power, they were all turned off by the age and the high miles. Goodwill, however, said that as long as we could get the car to one of their stores, they’d take it. So, mid-December, off to Goodwill it was.
Fast forward to late January. The family and I were driving down SE 82nd, and something in the corner of my eye caused me to whip the van around at the next intersection and drive back a block. There, sitting in a crappy used car lot, was my old car, being offered for sale. I got out of the van to check it out, and saw that my old car was virtually untouched. The dash still had a big hole with wires sticking out where my stereo used to be. The fabric on the driver’s seat was still torn. The carpet hadn’t even been vacuumed. I popped the hood and saw the same engine, unrepaired and still dirty and grimy. And the sticker on the windshield said they were asking $1900 for it.
$1900 dollars!
7 comments May 9th, 2005
I think everyone would agree that the spoken “I love you”s are essential in a relationship. However, there are times when you want to say it but you just can’t, or you shouldn’t, or it it isn’t appropriate. Kathy and I have come up with a language all our own for these occasions.
It all started years ago when I worked in front of the public, and when Kathy and I would talk on the phone, it just seemed inappropriate for me to be all lovey-dovey in front of customers. Kathy knew it put me in an awkward position if she insisted I say “I love you!” while Mr. Grumpypants is standing a few feet away from me scowling. So, we came up with our own “language of love”. When either one of us in such a position, we are totally permitted to simply say “you too!” and it is (for that moment) the equivalent of “I love you!” The recipient of the “you too” is basically acknowledging that the sender of woo can’t come right out and say “I Love You”, but still does want that sentiment to be expressed.
Even though “you too”, in normal conversation, is used as a response to something the other person said, in our language of love either one of us can just blurt it right out:
ME (as customer walks up to me): It was good talking to you, but I have to get going now.
HER: OK, you too!
ME: You too!
Does anybody else do anything corny like this?
2 comments May 6th, 2005
The burger wars are escalating. In an effort to reclaim the crown of serving the world’s largest hamburger, Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub is offering a 15 pound burger. Fifteen pounds! Oh my goodness!
I think it’s safe to say that it would be noticeable if just about anyone LOST 15 pounds, but this restaurant is offering the chance to take 30 of your hard-earned dollars in exchange for the privilege of GAINING 15 pounds.
This culinary train-wreck comes with 10.5 pounds of beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, and — get this — a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard, and banana peppers.
Right now, I’m picturing one and a half measuring cups overflowing with creamy mayonnaise, and I’m getting just a little gaggy.
Check out a picture of it here.
4 comments May 5th, 2005
I was watching a news report recently about the tragic death of a 17-year old girl from Salem. Apparently, her boyfriend lost control of his car while they were on the way to the prom, and the crash injured him and killed her.
A reporter was “on the scene” at the high school Monday talking to kids as they left school, to get their reactions. One of the students said something like “Yeah, it’s tragic that she died so young. Everyone here is really sad today, and we’re all going to miss her. I didn’t know her personally. I don’t think I ever even talked to her or anything.”
They couldn’t actually talk to someone who actually knew her? Instead, just throw the first person you see who looks kinda sad in front of the camera? Better yet, why not report the death, then just leave all the friends and relatives alone and let them grieve?
‘Cause that doesn’t bring in the ratings, that’s why.
Add comment May 4th, 2005
Who the hell started calling Wednesday “hump day”, and why?
I mean, I understand the concept that Wednesday is the middle day of the work week, so once Wednesday is done, you’re “over the hump”, and the week is more than 1/2 over. But still, I can’t help but look with disdain at people who I see early Wednesday morning, before my four cups of coffee, and say “It’s hump day!” with a bright smile on their face.
5 comments May 4th, 2005
Our friends Justin and Stephanie have an on-line store here. They sell soaps, bath salts, gift sets, and more. Kathy’s buying some raspberry bubble bath and some kid’s soap. Check ‘em out!
1 comment May 3rd, 2005
So my company participated in the Bring Your Child to Work Day last Thursday. Matt came with me, and we were treated to a tour of the Airport Fire Department at PDX. We watched as two giant fire engines shot water at each other with their huge water nozzles (the firefighters described it as a huge water gun fight). We also saw a presentation on wildlife that lives on the airport grounds. It was amazing.
I’ve implemented a new Photo Gallery on this site, and I’ve uploaded a bunch of photos of that day. Click here to see them.
Add comment May 3rd, 2005
Which of these stories is true? Here are three headlines:
A. School mistakes huge burrito for weapon, goes into lockdown
B. Hungry crows may be behind exploding toads
C. Doctors pull 50 maggots from elderly man’s ears
Check out the comments to see which is real.
3 comments May 2nd, 2005
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