I want to start collecting the nuggets of wisdom printed inside fortune cookies. I’ll start things off with three that I came across recently. Please post a comment to this article to add your own:
“Power dazzles the beholder as well as the wearer.”
“A good deed done today is repaid in double tomorrow.”
“You gain strength when you stop and look fear in the face.”
2 comments February 28th, 2005
Anybody want a Google Gmail account? I have 50 invitations I can send out. Just send me an email (link is on the left), and let me know which email address you want the invitation sent to.
Between work, home and this website, I have more than a dozen different email addresses, but of all the free email sites I use (Gmail, Yahoo mail, Hotmail, etc.), Gmail is the best. 1GB of storage, a pretty innovative way to file your messages, and Google’s excellent search engine to sift through it all.
3 comments February 24th, 2005
More liberties taken with the English language:
Word: Whosever, pronounced with a “z” sound
Usage: Used in place of “who ever is”
Example: “Assign this work request to whosever going out in the field today.”
1 comment February 23rd, 2005
I turn 36 tomorrow. 36 isn’t old yet, is it? I’m not in the best physical shape (I could stand stand to lose several dozen pounds, but that’s true of just about everybody, right?) but I feel great. Maybe I’ll start feeling old when I turn 40. Just check back in four years to see how I feel then.
4 comments February 21st, 2005
I guess it depends on what you consider a sell-out. I’ve heard quite a few people talk about Metallica selling out in the past, usually because they suddenly became popular and relatively mainstream. These hardcore fans seem to think that once their favorite band is discovered by the general public and they no longer have the band for their own, that they’ve sold out. Personally, I think that’s a load of crap. When a little-known band I like becomes popular, that just means that the band is good, and that there are quite a few people who share my taste in music.
I think I’ve defended Metallica in the past because they seem to have become popular in spite of themselves. They didn’t set out with this grand plan to become the biggest hard rock band in history. They just liked listening to metal music, and liked making metal music even more, and were good enough to get a record deal.
I even respect the band for taking a stand against the sharing of their music over Napster. There was a bit of fan backlash at this move, but when you stop to actually analyze the situation, they were in the right from the beginning. The songs that were being downloaded were copyrighted works, and the band was receiving no royalties for any of it. Regardless of how rich the members of the band already are, they still have the right to make money from the work they put into their music.
So I bought “Some Kind of Monster” on DVD recently, the documentary on the band and the making of their most recent album, “St. Anger”. In a way, I was hoping that I would be able to watch the movie, and arm myself with more ammunition to throw at those who are quick to cry “sell-out”. Instead, I think I may have joined their ranks.
Though it’s not a big point that is made in the movie, it is very obvious that they are all wealthy. Lars is shown making several million dollars auctioning some of his art collection, Kirk owns a large ranch in Northern California, etc. Being rich is definitely NOT evidence of selling out, but it helps illustrate a point I’ll be making soon.
At some point during the movie, when the album is nearing completion, the band’s management company tells them that they are to take part in a cheesy national radio promotion. Each member of the band is to record some voice-overs that will play on radio stations across the country. It’s very clear that the band hates this (and it’s pretty funny watching them squirm through recording the hokey dialogue.) They again ask their management company why they are doing this, and they are told that the radio stations can “make things difficult for them” if they don’t do this. It’s made clear that the radio stations are threatening to not play their new album without the band’s participation in the promotion.
Now the band has to know that there is a huge number of people who love their music, and will buy their latest album as soon as it comes out, radio air play or not. There is no doubt in my mind that there is no way the album could lose money even if these loyal fans were the only ones to buy the album. They also are obviously financially secure enough that they don’t need to sell millions of albums just to pay the bills. They could just go on making the music they love, put it in a music store, and they’d have a huge hit, stupid radio promotion or not. So why didn’t they just tell the radio stations to take their promotion and cram it with walnuts?
Has Metallica sold out? Unfortunately, yes, they have. Will I still buy their next album as soon as it comes out? Absolutely.
1 comment February 20th, 2005
This game is called “Guess the missing words.”
Read the following sentences, taken from a BBC News article (link follows) and guess what words I’ve replaced with “****”. Ready? Here we go:
Woman jailed for **** attack
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s **** with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left **** and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.”
In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his **** and “pulled hard”.
He added: “That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”
The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones’s **** into her mouth and try to swallow it.
She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the **** .
Read the entire article here.
Add comment February 18th, 2005
We went through the Wendys drive-thru the other night for a quick dinner to take home. For Kathy and the boys, I ordered three #4 value meals, one with a salad for the side order, and the other two with fries. Billy’s kind of a wuss when it comes to vegetables on his fast food, so I asked them to make one of the burgers without tomatoes or onions. The person behind the speaker asked me, and I quote, “Which meal has no tomatoes and no onions?”
I pondered this question for several seconds, then finally broke the tension by saying “The first one.”
As is always the case, I came up with a much more clever response later. Had all cylinders been firing at the time, I would have responded “The meal with the side salad has no tomatoes and no onions. No wait, make it the one with fries. No wait, the other one with fries!” I can just imagine the cashier’s fingers flying over the register as the order is entered and re-entered.
Add comment February 15th, 2005
We rescued an otherwise doomed kitty Saturday night. We were on our way home at about 6:00, driving down a pretty busy road. I saw a cat walking down the middle of one of the side roads that meets up with the street we were on. She was walking very slowly and kind of crouching, as if she were stalking something. She was about to walk into traffic, seemingly oblivious of the cars racing by.
We turned at the next street and went around the block, and by the time we got back to the intersection, two other good samaritans had also stopped. They apparently saw someone else hit the cat, look back to see what happened, then quickly drive away. The cat wasn’t crushed anywhere, so the car must not have rolled over any part of the cat, it must have just bumped against it somehow. Neither of these people wanted to take any more responsibility for the cat, so we took it home. One of them had just come from the grocery store, and gave us a couple small packets of wet cat food they had just bought for their own cat.
We did everything we could for the cat, and she did eat a bit of the food. She stayed in our bedroom overnight, away from our other two cats. She was very lethargic, and seemed to have almost no strength. We would bend down to pick her up, and she would almost fall over as we gently upset her balance when we lifted her.
While watching her slowly stumble around the room, almost bumping into everything in her path, we realized that the cat was blind. She walked slowly enough that she wouldn’t hurt herself if she did walk into something, but she was able to avoid things by sensing them with her whiskers. Her eyes were cloudy, and she would not track objects that were moved in front of her, nor blink when something was rapidly moved close to her face. She wasn’t deaf, as she would respond to snapped fingers near her head.
She had no collar, but she didn’t look like a stray cat that lived on the street. She could barely walk, let alone fend for herself. There are no houses or apartments for several blocks in all directions where we found her. We can only conclude that someone abandoned her in the area.
She was in worse shape Sunday. Kathy, Lexi and I drove her to an animal hospital in Beaverton. By the time we got there, she was almost completely unresponsive, and Kathy thought she had died in her arms a few times. They took the cat in, and said they would take care of it. They said it looked like the cat was very old, and that she was even starting to lose some of her teeth.
I don’t understand how someone could just abandon their pet like this.
Update 3/7/05: Read about another lost pet adventure with a happier ending here.
1 comment February 14th, 2005
We got our federal income tax refund deposited into our account today. Woo hoo! Time to go buy a new refrigerator! Yup, nothing but excitement at the Hayes household.
Add comment February 11th, 2005
Pretty funny valentines that you can send to that special (or not so special) someone. Careful, these valentines are for a mature audience (and some even have naughty words <giggle!>)
Add comment February 10th, 2005
Two teen-age girls were sued by their 49-year old neighbor after they left a plate of cookies and note reading “Have a Great Night” on her doorstep. The judge sided with the neighbor and awarded her damages of $900.
1 comment February 9th, 2005
Another common English language word senselessly murdered:
Word: Council
Usage: Used in place of “console”
Example: “This is a pretty good price in the Fry’s ad for this roof-mounted DVD player and LCD monitor, but I would prefer to get one that is mounted in the center council.”
Add comment February 8th, 2005
Whew. Almost a dozen first-graders were running around our house today during Lexi’s birthday party. Where do they get all that energy? And why can’t they hear how frickin’ loud they’re being?
Of all the presents Lexi got, I think this is the one I most want for myself. Not just a Barbie doll, but a Fairytopia Sparkle Fairy Barbie. Just being in the same room when this gift was opened made me feel pretty.
(And, yes, that is a green ribbon on my daughter’s head, thanks for asking.)
Add comment February 5th, 2005
Lexi turns seven years old tomorrow. In March, Matt will be a teen-ager. Billy is half way through his first year of high school. It’s kind of strange knowing my kids are this old. I guess I never thought I’d live this long.
Add comment February 3rd, 2005
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